I can't deal with that anymore. I can't even tell you what is bothering me all these days. It's not your fault and it's never  gonor be. I can't tell you how much i want to hold you in my arm and how much i want it back. Every time watching you playing wow at the desk and sleeping as a baby next to me, i have to tell myself that i cant cross the line even i'd picture it times and times in my mind. I know i've put too much on you and you've done too much for me. But that feeling is killing me in the deepest heart which i cant get rid of. The more i told myself i cant the more my heart felt hurt. I always want to know every bit of you but you never ask me what's wrong when i am upset. I cant blame you, never. So i blame myself of everything. It,s the thing i can only do by now. I hope you to care about me but it's only a dream that i know it by heart. I cant expect more. I can do nothing more. I got nothing.